Dealing with Jealousy - Part 1

This Post is by Lori Woodward Simons, Regular contributing writer for FineArtViews. You should submit an article and share your views as a guest author by clicking here.

Envy, being green - whatever you want to call it - jealousy happens. Well, it happens to me.

When I analyze why I feel jealous, it comes down to feeling like I'll be forgotten, left out in the cold and eventually die. Sounds like I'm going overboard with a small, silly emotion, eh? However, jealous feelings lead to fear because they are similar to wondering if we'll survive. In my early adult life, I was jealous when my boyfriend paid more attention to other girls than me. (prettier girls, mind you). Because he was showing preference to another person, I wondered if I would lose him to that girl and be forever abandoned and alone. In a couple of cases, this fear was based in truth; I was indeed left behind. However, I didn't die, and found someone else who was better.

That was long ago, I've been married for 28 years. However, I still get jealous, but now it's about my artwork and sometimes even my writing. Most of the time, I'm fairly confident and just go on working, but there are days when I feel insecure. Insecurity creeps in when I least expect it. Sometimes it's because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but many times it's based on real circumstances.

When things are going well for me, no problem, but when circumstances don't meet my expectations, I begin to feel worried and lose faith and hope in my work.

Like most jealousy, I feel this way because I'm afraid I'll be left behind, forgotten and no longer acknowledged. In a world without competition, I suspect that none of us would ever struggle with envy and fear of being forgotten.

Funny, I'm never jealous of those who are at the top. Their prices and work are in a far different category than mine. Perhaps someday I'll compete with them, but probably not. When I get jealous, it's with the work of those whom I consider my peers - those whose work is similar to mine in subject, price and style. In reality, I'm competing on some level with my peers for the attention of collectors. When I see a peer get all the glory or do a spectacular job at something I excel at, I get fearful and jealous.

On the other hand, when I receive an award or sell a painting, I feel like I'm the greatest and jealous feelings are far from me.

At these times, competition becomes a moot point, and I feel like my work is validated and valuable. What a paradox! When things go well, I think I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread and when things go sour, I worry that I'll be completely forgotten.

The important thing to acknowledge is that neither circumstance reflects the truth of where I stand in the art world.

But whether my evaluation of where I stand is true or not, my feelings are very real. Just repressing jealousy doesn't seem to work. So how should I handle envious thoughts and emotions? First, I admit that I'm human, and feelings of insecurity are part of my psyche. It's natural to worry that our work won't be acknowledged - and therefore our very survival instincts come into play.

I've learned that when I'm feeling down about my work, it's not the right time to compare my work to others. Rather, it may be a good time for me to take the pressure off by experimenting a bit - play around with paint - and definitely not worry about doing anything perfectly.

We're all different, so the solutions I've devised for myself may not work for you. Essentially, I stop comparing my work to that of others for a time and evaluate each piece of my work by comparing it to my other works. In other words, I take a serious look at my work within my own body of work and determine what the next step is. What problems within my work do I need to solve? Are there subjects I wish I could paint well but don't know how to? Perhaps I do well to practice painting trees or cows or whatever... concentrating on developing my own vision.

Basically, instead of worrying about how I compare to others, I immerse my efforts into my own body of work, and while I sometimes refer to art instruction books or art history books, I usually avoid looking at contemporary works for a few days. Why? Because looking at the work of my peers confuses me. I lose the sense of my own vision and begin to compare every aspect of my paintings to what others are doing.

Comparing my work to my own work - asking myself what the next step is - keeps me moving forward during "doubtful times".

Determining the next step in my individual artistic path, enables me to keep my eye on the goals I've set up for myself. At other times when I'm feeling securely on top of the world, I can then enjoy looking through art magazines or having my work critiqued - all of which is healthy when we my thoughts and feelings are strong enough to handle it.